Yeah… World of Warcraft again.

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   So with the upcoming release of Warlords of Draenor expansion for WoW and just the ebb and flow of my MMO life I have reupped and preordered WoD.  I was mildly interested in it and its WoW season for me (usually between Nov. and Feb. I get the urge to WoW)  So here we go again.  Lets see how Blizzard does with this expansion and how things go for me in game. Im not a raider much anymore and have no guild. So who knows, maybe a few months or maybe WoD will be amazing as hell. 

   Now what to do with my free level 90.  I have a 90 Alliance Hunter on Baelgun and a 85 Alliance Rogue on Wyrmrest Accord.  So what to do next. Do I go back to Horde after all these years or another Alliance toon.  So many choices… 

-Cortical

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Totally Uninformed: Week 2 2014 #NFL game picks

Welcome back kids, what an exciting week of NFL football (actual football and not the circus thats happening thanks to Ray Rice and the league hierarchy).  Heres the week where we all have knee jerk reations to the week 1 games when players arent yet in game shape so they have rough second halves and shit.  Like how a week ago we had the Patriots as Super Bowl contenders and now we are assuming they will go 0-16 because of one game. 
   Anyways. Onwards to the picks and shenanigans!

      Thursday Night:
Pittsburgh Steelers
           Vs.
Baltimore Ravens
Great, not only is it these 2 pathetic boring football teams playing in primetime again (fucking stop, everyone else hates these games) but now its compounded with the Ray Rice shit.  I would rather watch the Jets and Raiders play… which I might just watch instead. Cant wait for an evening of social discussion while 2 of the most dirty teams play football.  Atleast we might get to see another punter get kicked in the face.

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   Steelers 15 – Ravens 12

      Sunday:
Miami Dolphins
         Vs.
Buffalo Bills
Miami wasnt supposed to beat the Patriots…. Buffalo wasnt supposed to beat the Bears…
But they did so by default these are the best 2 teams in the AFC East!  Watch as these titans duke it out for first place!  Yes, after 1 week these are a couple of the titans of the AFC!!!
Dolphins 23 – Bills 14

Jacksonville Jaguars
            Vs.
Washington Redskins
After the thumping the Redskins took last week from JJ Watt and the Texans I assumed they would have changed their names just out of embarassment.  But they didnt because their owner is too tough to be bullied out of being a prick.  I dont know if Philly sucks that much ass or if the Jags are an actual team. This game will be unwatchable so we wont be able to find out.
Jaguars 10 – Redskins 9

Dallas Cowboys
         Vs.
Tennessee Titans
Hahahahhahahahhahahhaha…. Tony Romo…. hahahahhahahahhahahha

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Titans 27 – Cowboys 17

Arizona Cardinals
            Vs.
New York Giants
Holy fuck the Giants suck, like badly suck. I hope we arent sending them to London as a display team for the English blokes. The Cards are a good team on the edge of being great they show that this week vs Dur Dur Manning and the hapless Giants
Cardinals 31 – Giants 10

New England Patriots
             Vs.
Minnesota Vikings
This game is curious.  I assume the Pats lost because its week 1 and that first game is always rough in the 4th quarter but the Viqueens just kicked ass and I can only assume its cause the Rams were very very bad.  I gotta stay with the Pats winning here cause we all know how I feel about the Vikings.
Patriots 26 – Vikings 20

New Orleans Saints
              Vs.
Cleveland Browns
Cmon Aints, whats up fools. You gotta win games when I pick you so I dont look like a jackass.  The Browns mounted a huge comeback but failed in the end vs the Steelers.  Are they good? Probably not.  I would like to see the special teams stick up for their punter after getting kicked in the face this time.   Oh yeah. Obligitory Johnny Football mention.
Saints 30 – Browns 10 (no Manziel)

Atlanta Falcons
           Vs.
Cincinnati Bengals
Bleah…  yeah I dont care either.
Bengals 30 – Falcons 29

Detroit Lions
         Vs.
Carolina Panthers
Yay… another “athletic” quarterback. Cant we just retitle them as shitty paasers who can run.  On the plus side the running QB usually has a shortened lifespan.  Yeah. Im not sold on Newton being an elite QB.  Stafford could be as long as his defense doesnt make it hard on him by sucking and commiting all the penalties.  We will see.  Suh might need to nut shot someone or something.
Lions 37 – Panthers 21

St Louis Rams
         Vs.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Are the Rams on their 3rd QB now?  Not really concerned because they are gonna get beaten by the Bucs.
Buccaneers 17 – Rams 7

Seattle Seahawks
           Vs.
San Diego Chargers.
Fucking Bolts.  They always seem to play to the level of the competition.   Which may serve to be a positive in this game.  We always manage to rise to the regular season occasion vs the best teams (then lose to the worst the next week) I would talk about Seattle but we all know they are the best and until someone beats them they are still the best.  This week… they lose.  SD never lets me down when it counts and isnt the playoffs.
Chargers 33 – Seahawks 30

Houston Texans
             Vs.
Oakland Raiders
If not for the Texans violating the Redskins I would assume this would be a crappy game, but I think maybe the Texans are kinda back.  Getting to play the worst team in the NFL is just a bonus they get this week.
Texans 40 – Raiders 3

New York Buttfumbles
              Vs.
Green Bay Packers
The Jets are 1-0… but they played the Raiders so it doesnt actually count.  The Pack got smacked by the Seahawks which I think was a wakeup call and nothing like a shitty team the week after a spanking to boost morale.
Packers 27 – Jets 12

Kansas City Chiefs
              Vs.
Denver Broncos
I dont even whats up with the Chiefs and really I dont care.  The Broncos are better as long as their manning stays healthy. 
Broncos 36 – Chiefs 20

Chicago Bears
           Vs.
San Francisco 49ers
Lolbears as  I lovingly call them to my wife who is a fan of them really arent equiped to take on the 49ers.  They can only hope to turn it into a shootout until Cutler fucks up and loses the game for them.
49ers 27 – Bears 20

      Monday Night:
Philadelphia Eagles
              Vs.
Indianapolis Colts
This game is a total crap shoot to predict so I am just gonna go with not the Eagles.
Colts 33 – Eagles 30

   There ya go.  Read them and weep in all their glory.  I know picking against the Seahawks seems foolish but I have the faith.  Bolt Up ;)

    -Cortical

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Game Time: #Destiny Full Review

So I have yet to even see what Destiny even looks like but I feel more than qualified to fully review Bungie’s first foray into a space themed shooter…. after Halo. (I stayed at a Holiday Inn express or La Quinta or whatever last night)

   Yes, Bungie is back baby! This time they decided to take a page out of Activisions playbook and just stick with the same formula they are good at, and why not… if it aint broke then make the same game every year with a new name damnit! 

   Its a shooter… you play a superhero commado who can do it all and kick all forms of ass across space and time whos only weakness is how good or bad you are at shooter games… or how much Mtn Dew you managed to drink before you started playing.  So grab your depends and lets do this shit.

     Theres story, and its awesome because its Bungie and they do that story stuff so good.  Thats a plus in my book, because its a space themed shooter and well we have been playing that game for a goddamn decade now.  So the story sets ot apart from the rest of the shooters coming out this year (theres like 413 of them or something) anyways the story. Amazing stuff happens, a ship or 2 explodes… bad guys explode… you start to lose faith then more shit explodes and you regain your faith and you win.  Im assuming thats the framework of it because thats the framework of every shooter story.  Bungie will add flourishes and it will be cool so yeah.

   Gameplay…. as I said before we have been happily playing this game for a decade or more (depending on how old you are)  There wont be any major surprises there.  You play a lot you drink Mtn Dew and you gain levels we know what were doing.

   So in conclusion, Destiny is definately a game to check into especially if you havent played a space themed shooter since Halo: Reach. (Fuck Halo 4… fuck it to hell).  My final say on the Buy it to Fuck it scale is.

    STEAL IT
Not that namby pamby digital theft any asshole can do, go to the store and steal a copy.  You wont regret it.

    -Cortical

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Totally Uninformed: Week 1 2014 NFL game picks

Week 1 is here and while I wont guarantee it, I will try to update this weekly.  With that said… lets go!

Week 1 Schedule

Thursday Night:
Seattle Seahawks
           Vs.
Green Bay Packers
Welcome back NFL!  Heres the Packers getting creamed for opening night..
Seattle 38 – Green Bay 13

Sunday:
New Orleans Saints
           Vs.
Atlanta Falcons
Watch as Brees and the Aints dismantle the weaker division foes until they switch to an actual competitive game.
New Orleans 45 – Atlanta 23

Minnesota Vikings
              Vs.
St. Louis Rams
Really… no one but the players families will be watching this game.
St. Louis 13 – Minnesota 9

Cleveland Browns
              Vs.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Will Johnny Football make his debut in the NFL? Will Cleveland not suck?
Will I give a shit about this game?
Find out or not this Sunday!
Pittsburgh 12 – Cleveland 6

Jacksonville Jaguars
               Vs.
Philadelphia Eagles
Yes kids, the Jags are still a team in the NFL. The rumors of them moving to Europe are totally untrue!  Fucking exciting I know.  Watch as Filthydelphia plays a crappy team.
Philadelphia 27 – Jacksonville 7

Oakland Raiders
             Vs.
New York Jets
Are you fucking kidding me?  Who came up with this gem of an opening week matchup.  Fuck this game.
The fans lose… this abomination of a game shouldnt happen

Cincinnati Bengals
              Vs.
Baltimore Ravens
Ok, this could be a good game… if it wasnt week 1 and everyone still is rusty and scared of being hurt right out the gate. 
Cincinnati 21 – Baltimore 17

Buffalo Bills
         Vs.
Chicago Bears
Sadly for Buffalo they have to play the Bears while they are still good, if only they got them in week 10 after Cutler gets hurt and they suck again.
Chicago 30 – Buffalo 17

Washington Redskins
               Vs.
Houston Texans
Yeeehaw!!!! Nothing Texans like more than beating up a bunch of Redskins.  Sadly the Texans are terrible so they get killed instead.
Washington 17 – Houston 0

Tennessee Titans
             Vs.
Kansas City Chiefs
Chiefs win because thats what they do early on to make sure when they choke it hurts all that much more.
Kansas City 19 – Tennessee 9

New England Patriots
             Vs.
Miami Dolphins
I have the Dolphins being a contender this year. This could be a good game if they keep Brady under control. They wont but hey, stranger things have happened
New England 34 – Miami 23

Carolina Panthers
             Vs.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Is superman still whining like a baby?  I dont know. Either way hes overrated so whatever.
Tampa Bay 20 – Carolina 10

San Francisco 49ers
             Vs.
Dallas Cowboys
Hahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa….. really….  hahahahahhahahaha……
San Francisco 38 – Dallas 9

Indianapolis Colts
         Vs.
Denver Broncos
The only team that Peyton hasnt beaten is back. And yeah it wont happen this time either. Luck is the man vs Manning
Indianapolis 26 -Denver 23

Monday Night:

New York Giants
        Vs.
Detroit Lions
Maybe if you let both the Giants and Jets teams play at the same time vs the Lions they might win.  But its not, the Giants suck, fuck them.
Detroit 35 – New York 17

San Diego Chargers
          Vs.
Arizona Cardinals
In the oddball game of the week the Chargers go to Arizona to play the Cardinals the week after the Cardinals came to San Diego to play the Chargers in week 4 preseason.  We will finally get to see all the new parts in the Bolts Machine in motion as the Thunder Bolts and Lightning will light up the sky and scoreboard. 
San Diego 29 – Arizona 10

There ya go… week 1 in the books.  Go place your bets now cause you are gonna win for sure! 

   -Cortical

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Totally Uninformed: NFL Post Season Predictions!

So we wrappped up my rankings on the NFL divisions and who would win it, now lets go one step further and call the playoffs!

First off lets recap,

The top 4 teams for each conference are:

   NFC:
Seattle Seahawks
New Orleans Saints
Green Bay Packers
Philadelphia Eagles

   AFC:
Denver Broncos
New England Patriots
Indianapolis Colts
Pittsburgh Steelers

This is the ranking order top 2 teams will get the bye in week 1 of the playoffs.  Now lets look at the wildcards.

   NFC:
San Francisco 49ers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

While the Niners seem to have taken a step back and I have no actual faith in Kapernick being all that or a bag of chips, they are more than good enough to be the top wildcard team.  Tampa Bay is gonna sneak in because no one expects them to and wont be paying attention to them.

   AFC:
San Diego Chargers
Miami Dolphins

Yes, I am biased as a Chargers fan but realistically I think they have done enough during the off season to make the top wildcard spot.  They arent on the radars as much and that a good thing.  The Dolphins will be the surprise of the AFC playoffs. They have enough to squeak in… beyond that who knows.

Super Bowl:
Seattle Seahawks
San Diego Chargers

   Yeah, im calling it now.  The Bolts will pull it together and ride the lightning into the super bowl where they will face one of the scariest teams in the NFL in a while in the Seahawks.  Sadly it will not be the Chargers year and the Seahawks repeat. 

   Just watch, I guarantee these picks. Take em to the bank. 

   -Cortical

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Totally Uninformed: 2014 NFL season rankings!

Welcome back kids.  I took last season off due to being a lazy asshole and not wanting to type.  This season fuck it, lets type.  I type up random ill informed thought on subjects I care about.  So here we go.

   Tonight is opening night in the NFL!  Although I will say thanks to the plethora of asshat players in the NFL I am less than psyched for the season really.  They really need to actually punish these players when they do wrong or it will never change, but thats another subject so fuck it.

   Onward to my picks for the season! 

   NFC North:
Green Bay Packers
Detroit Lions
Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings
   The divison is Green Bays, the Lions choke so fuck them and the Bears will go 6 and 3 before Cutler gets hurt and then they go 2 and 5 for the rest of the season and miss the playoffs. The Vikings are a team… whatever.

   NFC South:
New Orleans Saints
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Atlanta Falcons
Carolina Panthers
   The Saints are as good as their super bowl year and in this divison that will be more than enough to win it.  Tampa Bay could be a dark horse team though.  While not good enough to win over the Saints they are good enough to Wild Card into the playoffs.  Atlanta and Carolina will battle for last place because they suck.

   NFC East:
Philadelphia Eagles
The other 3 teams.
   Literally the entire NFC East is a cesspool.  The Eagles are simply the best piece of shit in the pile.

   NFC West:
Seattle Seahawks
San Francisco 49ers
St. Louis Rams
Arizona Cardinals
   Seattle is fucking good.  Everyone else will be looking for thier tablescraps.  They will run away with the division and could easily repeat the super bowl.

   AFC North:
Pittsburgh Steelers
Cincinnati Bengals
Baltimore Ravens
Cleveland Browns
   The Bengals are good but always seem to fuck it up when it counts where as the Steelers always seem to have lady luck on thier side.  The Ravens could move up if the other 2 have injuries/suspensions that mess up their starters and Hopefully Johnny Football turns into the next Ryan Leaf.

   AFC South:
Indianapolis Colts
Tennessee Titans
Houston Texans
Jacksonville Jaguars
   The Colts keep Luck upright the Colts win the division.  This is another one of them all around bad divisions. The only shock might be that I see the Jags winning 6 games.

   AFC East:
New England Patriots
Miami Dolphins
Buffalo Bills
New York Buttfumbles
   No one in this divison is a threat to the Pats or a threat to anyone except maybe Minnesota or Jacksonville. Fuck them all

   AFC West:
Denver Broncos
San Diego Chargers
Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Faders
   Ok, as a Chargers fan I hate to put the ponies on top, but they are… for now.  They are a glass cannon though, and if teams get to Peyton like they did to Favre in his last season and fines be damned and put him down the Broncos are done. So as long as the neck stays up they are gonna win the divison.  The Chiefs… so many people are high on them, fuck them.  They will choke and fall as usual.  The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL. 

   There ya have it.  My picks for the season.  Just watch. It will hold true. Guaranteed.

   -Cortical
 

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Gamers suck.

Do you play video games and call yourself a gamer?  You suck. 

Do you play video games and do not call yourself a gamer?  You suck.

Do you not play video games?  You suck.

Moral of the story, we all suck.

-Cortical

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