Thursday Night Football sucks. An #NFL post.

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  Ok, Thursday night football is a joke.  So far each game this season has been stupid, all 4 have been somewhat to very much lopsided games.  This whole short week to prep really shows with the bad teams as both Tampa Bay and Washington got decimated each of the last 2 weeks. 
   Week 2 was somewhat tolerable (except it was a Ravens/Steelers game) until the second half when the Ravens whooped up on the Steelers.  Week 1… well its week 1 and week 1 football is kinda crappy as all the teams get back into football shape.  Maybe its time we stopped with the Thursday night games or go back to the only after week 10 or whatever.
   Anyways. I know the NFL wants all the money, but showing crappy blowouts week in and week out isnt a good thing.  On the plus side CBS has taken over the game from the terrible NFL Network for showing and calling the game… cause nothing says good times like 3 hours of Trent Dilfer talking. 
   No more TNF.  More games on Sunday afternoon and give us more basic TV options for games to watch instead of just directv/dish packages being the only way watch something in the afternoon that doesnt involve the Raiders or Kansas City.

-Cortical

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Totally Uninformed: Week 4 2014 #NFL game picks.

Whats that… crap its already week 4.  Where has the season gone.  Soon we will be discussing playoff scenarios…

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The Bolts laid out the Bills even though most thought they would close up shop after the big Seattle win.  Enough of this though, on to the games!

   Thursday Night:
New York Giants
          Vs.
Washington Redskins
   So was last week a fluke or has Dur Dur Manning and the Giants remembered how to play football? Who cares, the Giants still suck. So do the Redskins. I dont care how good Cousins looks, after the Griffin era anyone would look like a good QB.
Washington 25 – New York 21

   Sunday:
Green Bay Packers
          Vs.
Chicago Bears
  The superbowl of the midwest (because neither of these teams will be in the actual super bowl) is here.  The Bears are down to the training staff and a couple kids in the secondary, which wont hurt them too bad cause Rodgers isnt playing Rodgers football yet. Also I wonder how long the duct tape holding the Bears recievers will hold up before they go out. One team will totally dominate this game, ya know the one with the football shaped letter on their helmets.
   Green Bay 34 – Chicago 20

Buffalo Bills
         Vs.
Houston Texans
  Last week the Chargers showed the world how to beat the Bills… we all knew it but it was finally shown.  Stop the run and make Manuel throw.  just load the box… hell you could probably leave one reciever uncovered and Manuel still wouldnt find or hit him.  I think the Texans are reverting to last year. Lets see if they can match the 14 game losing streak again.
   Buffalo 21 – Houston 10

Tennessee Titans
           Vs.
Indianapolis Colts
   Luck cant lose this game… can he?  Tennessee  has players… I think.
   Indianapolis 31 – Tennessee 12

Carolina Panthers
         Vs.
Baltimore Ravens
  So last week I went against my better judgement and picked Carolina to win.  I thought  i saw something but it was just a mirage from the stench of how bad Cam Newton can be.  I wont make that mistake again.
   Baltimore 23 – Carolina 20

Detroit Lions
           Vs.
New York Buttfumbles.
   I dont care what you or Rex Ryan says… Geno Smith is not an actual NFL QB. Then theres the lolLions… whos entire existance can be summed up in one picture.

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Season ending injury while celebrating…
   Detroit 37 – New York 9

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
           Vs.
Pittsburgh Steelers
  I know what the world is thinking, but they are wrong.  What happened last week, wont happen again. I expect a much cleaner game from the Bucs and Pittsburgh is too busy dreaming of how many points they will score they will forget they still have to play the game.
    Tampa Bay 19 – Pittsburgh 16 (ot)

Miami Dolphins
          Vs.
Oakland Raiders
  Yeah… i have no clue what the fuck the Raiders were on to even compete with the Pats.  Whatever was (im sure it was illegal, thats all the Raiders do) they need to do it again.
   Miami 25 – Oakland 17

Jacksonville Jaguars
           Vs.
San Diego Chargers
  The mighty Jags roll into SD for todays game.  I dont know who is actually on the Jags, but im sure their mothers are proud of them for trying. 
   San Diego 24 – Jacksonville 12

Philadelphia Eagles
           Vs.
San Francisco 49ers
  Dont know whats up with the Niners… other than Kapernick is overrated.  Theres no reason the believe that the Eagles change the formula of spotting the other team 14 points then winning the game.
   Philadelphia 30 – San Francisco 27

Atlanta Falcons
          Vs.
Minnesota Vikings
  No the Falcons are not 56 points in a game good.  This one will be a football game and things you wont see because it wont be worth watching will happen.
   Atlanta 27 – Minnesota 24

New Orleans Saints
          Vs.
Dallas Cowboys
  Fuck the Dallas Cowboys.
   New Orleans 35 – Dallas 20

   Monday Night:
New England Patriots
           Vs.
Kansas City Chiefs
   Whoever decided to put a Chiefs game on Monday night has balls of steel.  I got a feeling they come out flat and just get rolled making MNF a turn off the tv and watch Gotham or Scorpion night.
   New England 30 – Kansas City 6

Bye week:
Cardinals, Browns, Bengals, Broncos, Seahawks, and Rams

There ya have it kids.  Week 4 starts tonight!  Do all the things then watch TNF.  See as all my predictions come true or dont.

-Cortical
ps… Go Chargers!

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Totally Uninformed: Week 3 2014 #NFL game picks.

   Well aint that a bitch, while I didnt get too much right I did call the Chargers beating the Seahawks so bow down!  Heh.

   So the last 2 weeks its been REALLY easy to stay uninformed about the ebb and flow of the season with everyone only talking about the jackassery of a couple players.  I wont discusss it here. 
   Well lets press onward and discuss week 3!

    Thursday Night:
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
           Vs.
Atlanta Falcons
   Both of these arent ready for a primetime game.  If you can avoid watching the game I highly reccomend it.
Tampa Bay 16 – Atlanta 13

    Sunday:
San Diego Chargers
          Vs.
Buffalo Bills
   The 2 and 0 Bills play host to the Chargers.  Both teams are riding high on wins and it should be a fun game.  But Buffalo is beatable if the Chargers can stop the run. Which they will. 
San Diego 29 – Buffalo 15

Dallas Cowboys
       Vs.
St. Louis Rams
   Nope… tweet me if something worth watching happens in this game.
Dallas 23 – St. Louis 19

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Washington Redskins
          Vs.
Philadelphia Eagles
   Them Eagles dont quit when they are down plus they are the best in their division.  The Redskins have a chance now that Griffin is back playing the only position hes really good at and will have ample time to film new subway commercials.
Philadelphia 27 – Redskins 14

Houston Texans
          Vs.
New York Giants
   Lolgiants…  lets all watch as JJ Watt eats Dur Dur Manning. The Texans need to prove themselves against tougher teams eventually, until then I love watching them beat up losers.
Houston 34 – New York 9

Minnesota Vikings
          Vs.
New Orleans Saints
   Wtf Aints… you aint gonna win a game?  Naw. You guys are too good for that.  A Petersonless Vikings will have a tougher time if the Saints D can actually make some stops.  We will see.
New Orleans 30 – Minnesota 20

Tennessee Titans
          Vs.
Cincinnati Bengals
  Remember last year?  Yeah? That will happen again.
Cincinnati 24 – Tennessee 21

Baltimore Ravens
           Vs.
Cleveland Browns
   Dude I cant believe im gonna say this but this might turn out to be a really fun game to watch.  Saying that made me throw up a bit.    
Cleveland 23 – Baltimore 20 (Fun rain game maybe!)

Green Bay Packers
          Vs.
Detroit Lions
   Division rivals both looking somewhat shaky during the last 2 weeks. So this could go any way at all. But l am sensing a blow out again.
Detroit 37 – Green Bay 23

Indianapolis Colts
          Vs.
Jacksonville Jaguars
   The Jags are challenging the Raiders as the crappiest team in the league (that will never happen here as I hate the Raiders) I fully expect Luck and the Colts to fuck the shit out of the Jags and break out of the winless group.
Indianapolis 45 – Jacksonville 0

Oakland Raiders
          Vs.
New England Patriots
   Yeah… men against idiots here.  Atleast its not in Oakland and we wont have to suffer through the wannabe GWAR concert that is a Raiders game.
New England 33 – Oakland 9

San Francisco 49ers
          Vs.
Arizona Cardinals
   I dont know about this.  Are the Cards good? Was the 49ers collapse on Sunday night a fluke?  Lets watch and see!
San Francisco 24 – Arizona 19

Denver Broncos
          Vs.
Seattle Seahawks
   After the stumble vs the Chargers the Seahawks will be back in full force to show the NFL that it was just a one time thing.  I expect the defense to step up and beat the Broncos down… even with drug lord Wes Welker back.
Seattle 31 – Denver 10

Kansas City Chiefs
          Vs.
Miami Dolphins
   The Chiefs are who I thought they were.  A midwest version of the Raiders.  Miami has got this one in the bag.
Miami 21 – Kansas City 14

Sunday Night:

Pittsburgh Steelers
          Vs.
Carolina Panthers
   STOP PUTTING THE STEELERS ON PRIMETIME! Seriously, stop they are a shitty team and deserve to play games at an unannounced time so no one has to witness them. Carolina rolls.
Carolina 27 – Pittsburgh 12

    Monday Night:
Chicago Bears
          Vs.
New York Buttfumbles
   God damnit another fucking asshole team on primetime. Atleast the Bears are playing, which helps a little.
Chicago 23 – New York 17

   Well thats it kids.  Read em and weep!

   -Cortical

  

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Yeah… World of Warcraft again.

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   So with the upcoming release of Warlords of Draenor expansion for WoW and just the ebb and flow of my MMO life I have reupped and preordered WoD.  I was mildly interested in it and its WoW season for me (usually between Nov. and Feb. I get the urge to WoW)  So here we go again.  Lets see how Blizzard does with this expansion and how things go for me in game. Im not a raider much anymore and have no guild. So who knows, maybe a few months or maybe WoD will be amazing as hell. 

   Now what to do with my free level 90.  I have a 90 Alliance Hunter on Baelgun and a 85 Alliance Rogue on Wyrmrest Accord.  So what to do next. Do I go back to Horde after all these years or another Alliance toon.  So many choices… 

-Cortical

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Totally Uninformed: Week 2 2014 #NFL game picks

Welcome back kids, what an exciting week of NFL football (actual football and not the circus thats happening thanks to Ray Rice and the league hierarchy).  Heres the week where we all have knee jerk reations to the week 1 games when players arent yet in game shape so they have rough second halves and shit.  Like how a week ago we had the Patriots as Super Bowl contenders and now we are assuming they will go 0-16 because of one game. 
   Anyways. Onwards to the picks and shenanigans!

      Thursday Night:
Pittsburgh Steelers
           Vs.
Baltimore Ravens
Great, not only is it these 2 pathetic boring football teams playing in primetime again (fucking stop, everyone else hates these games) but now its compounded with the Ray Rice shit.  I would rather watch the Jets and Raiders play… which I might just watch instead. Cant wait for an evening of social discussion while 2 of the most dirty teams play football.  Atleast we might get to see another punter get kicked in the face.

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   Steelers 15 – Ravens 12

      Sunday:
Miami Dolphins
         Vs.
Buffalo Bills
Miami wasnt supposed to beat the Patriots…. Buffalo wasnt supposed to beat the Bears…
But they did so by default these are the best 2 teams in the AFC East!  Watch as these titans duke it out for first place!  Yes, after 1 week these are a couple of the titans of the AFC!!!
Dolphins 23 – Bills 14

Jacksonville Jaguars
            Vs.
Washington Redskins
After the thumping the Redskins took last week from JJ Watt and the Texans I assumed they would have changed their names just out of embarassment.  But they didnt because their owner is too tough to be bullied out of being a prick.  I dont know if Philly sucks that much ass or if the Jags are an actual team. This game will be unwatchable so we wont be able to find out.
Jaguars 10 – Redskins 9

Dallas Cowboys
         Vs.
Tennessee Titans
Hahahahhahahahhahahhaha…. Tony Romo…. hahahahhahahahhahahha

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Titans 27 – Cowboys 17

Arizona Cardinals
            Vs.
New York Giants
Holy fuck the Giants suck, like badly suck. I hope we arent sending them to London as a display team for the English blokes. The Cards are a good team on the edge of being great they show that this week vs Dur Dur Manning and the hapless Giants
Cardinals 31 – Giants 10

New England Patriots
             Vs.
Minnesota Vikings
This game is curious.  I assume the Pats lost because its week 1 and that first game is always rough in the 4th quarter but the Viqueens just kicked ass and I can only assume its cause the Rams were very very bad.  I gotta stay with the Pats winning here cause we all know how I feel about the Vikings.
Patriots 26 – Vikings 20

New Orleans Saints
              Vs.
Cleveland Browns
Cmon Aints, whats up fools. You gotta win games when I pick you so I dont look like a jackass.  The Browns mounted a huge comeback but failed in the end vs the Steelers.  Are they good? Probably not.  I would like to see the special teams stick up for their punter after getting kicked in the face this time.   Oh yeah. Obligitory Johnny Football mention.
Saints 30 – Browns 10 (no Manziel)

Atlanta Falcons
           Vs.
Cincinnati Bengals
Bleah…  yeah I dont care either.
Bengals 30 – Falcons 29

Detroit Lions
         Vs.
Carolina Panthers
Yay… another “athletic” quarterback. Cant we just retitle them as shitty paasers who can run.  On the plus side the running QB usually has a shortened lifespan.  Yeah. Im not sold on Newton being an elite QB.  Stafford could be as long as his defense doesnt make it hard on him by sucking and commiting all the penalties.  We will see.  Suh might need to nut shot someone or something.
Lions 37 – Panthers 21

St Louis Rams
         Vs.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Are the Rams on their 3rd QB now?  Not really concerned because they are gonna get beaten by the Bucs.
Buccaneers 17 – Rams 7

Seattle Seahawks
           Vs.
San Diego Chargers.
Fucking Bolts.  They always seem to play to the level of the competition.   Which may serve to be a positive in this game.  We always manage to rise to the regular season occasion vs the best teams (then lose to the worst the next week) I would talk about Seattle but we all know they are the best and until someone beats them they are still the best.  This week… they lose.  SD never lets me down when it counts and isnt the playoffs.
Chargers 33 – Seahawks 30

Houston Texans
             Vs.
Oakland Raiders
If not for the Texans violating the Redskins I would assume this would be a crappy game, but I think maybe the Texans are kinda back.  Getting to play the worst team in the NFL is just a bonus they get this week.
Texans 40 – Raiders 3

New York Buttfumbles
              Vs.
Green Bay Packers
The Jets are 1-0… but they played the Raiders so it doesnt actually count.  The Pack got smacked by the Seahawks which I think was a wakeup call and nothing like a shitty team the week after a spanking to boost morale.
Packers 27 – Jets 12

Kansas City Chiefs
              Vs.
Denver Broncos
I dont even whats up with the Chiefs and really I dont care.  The Broncos are better as long as their manning stays healthy. 
Broncos 36 – Chiefs 20

Chicago Bears
           Vs.
San Francisco 49ers
Lolbears as  I lovingly call them to my wife who is a fan of them really arent equiped to take on the 49ers.  They can only hope to turn it into a shootout until Cutler fucks up and loses the game for them.
49ers 27 – Bears 20

      Monday Night:
Philadelphia Eagles
              Vs.
Indianapolis Colts
This game is a total crap shoot to predict so I am just gonna go with not the Eagles.
Colts 33 – Eagles 30

   There ya go.  Read them and weep in all their glory.  I know picking against the Seahawks seems foolish but I have the faith.  Bolt Up ;)

    -Cortical

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Game Time: #Destiny Full Review

So I have yet to even see what Destiny even looks like but I feel more than qualified to fully review Bungie’s first foray into a space themed shooter…. after Halo. (I stayed at a Holiday Inn express or La Quinta or whatever last night)

   Yes, Bungie is back baby! This time they decided to take a page out of Activisions playbook and just stick with the same formula they are good at, and why not… if it aint broke then make the same game every year with a new name damnit! 

   Its a shooter… you play a superhero commado who can do it all and kick all forms of ass across space and time whos only weakness is how good or bad you are at shooter games… or how much Mtn Dew you managed to drink before you started playing.  So grab your depends and lets do this shit.

     Theres story, and its awesome because its Bungie and they do that story stuff so good.  Thats a plus in my book, because its a space themed shooter and well we have been playing that game for a goddamn decade now.  So the story sets ot apart from the rest of the shooters coming out this year (theres like 413 of them or something) anyways the story. Amazing stuff happens, a ship or 2 explodes… bad guys explode… you start to lose faith then more shit explodes and you regain your faith and you win.  Im assuming thats the framework of it because thats the framework of every shooter story.  Bungie will add flourishes and it will be cool so yeah.

   Gameplay…. as I said before we have been happily playing this game for a decade or more (depending on how old you are)  There wont be any major surprises there.  You play a lot you drink Mtn Dew and you gain levels we know what were doing.

   So in conclusion, Destiny is definately a game to check into especially if you havent played a space themed shooter since Halo: Reach. (Fuck Halo 4… fuck it to hell).  My final say on the Buy it to Fuck it scale is.

    STEAL IT
Not that namby pamby digital theft any asshole can do, go to the store and steal a copy.  You wont regret it.

    -Cortical

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Totally Uninformed: Week 1 2014 NFL game picks

Week 1 is here and while I wont guarantee it, I will try to update this weekly.  With that said… lets go!

Week 1 Schedule

Thursday Night:
Seattle Seahawks
           Vs.
Green Bay Packers
Welcome back NFL!  Heres the Packers getting creamed for opening night..
Seattle 38 – Green Bay 13

Sunday:
New Orleans Saints
           Vs.
Atlanta Falcons
Watch as Brees and the Aints dismantle the weaker division foes until they switch to an actual competitive game.
New Orleans 45 – Atlanta 23

Minnesota Vikings
              Vs.
St. Louis Rams
Really… no one but the players families will be watching this game.
St. Louis 13 – Minnesota 9

Cleveland Browns
              Vs.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Will Johnny Football make his debut in the NFL? Will Cleveland not suck?
Will I give a shit about this game?
Find out or not this Sunday!
Pittsburgh 12 – Cleveland 6

Jacksonville Jaguars
               Vs.
Philadelphia Eagles
Yes kids, the Jags are still a team in the NFL. The rumors of them moving to Europe are totally untrue!  Fucking exciting I know.  Watch as Filthydelphia plays a crappy team.
Philadelphia 27 – Jacksonville 7

Oakland Raiders
             Vs.
New York Jets
Are you fucking kidding me?  Who came up with this gem of an opening week matchup.  Fuck this game.
The fans lose… this abomination of a game shouldnt happen

Cincinnati Bengals
              Vs.
Baltimore Ravens
Ok, this could be a good game… if it wasnt week 1 and everyone still is rusty and scared of being hurt right out the gate. 
Cincinnati 21 – Baltimore 17

Buffalo Bills
         Vs.
Chicago Bears
Sadly for Buffalo they have to play the Bears while they are still good, if only they got them in week 10 after Cutler gets hurt and they suck again.
Chicago 30 – Buffalo 17

Washington Redskins
               Vs.
Houston Texans
Yeeehaw!!!! Nothing Texans like more than beating up a bunch of Redskins.  Sadly the Texans are terrible so they get killed instead.
Washington 17 – Houston 0

Tennessee Titans
             Vs.
Kansas City Chiefs
Chiefs win because thats what they do early on to make sure when they choke it hurts all that much more.
Kansas City 19 – Tennessee 9

New England Patriots
             Vs.
Miami Dolphins
I have the Dolphins being a contender this year. This could be a good game if they keep Brady under control. They wont but hey, stranger things have happened
New England 34 – Miami 23

Carolina Panthers
             Vs.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Is superman still whining like a baby?  I dont know. Either way hes overrated so whatever.
Tampa Bay 20 – Carolina 10

San Francisco 49ers
             Vs.
Dallas Cowboys
Hahahahhahahhahahhahahahhaa….. really….  hahahahahhahahaha……
San Francisco 38 – Dallas 9

Indianapolis Colts
         Vs.
Denver Broncos
The only team that Peyton hasnt beaten is back. And yeah it wont happen this time either. Luck is the man vs Manning
Indianapolis 26 -Denver 23

Monday Night:

New York Giants
        Vs.
Detroit Lions
Maybe if you let both the Giants and Jets teams play at the same time vs the Lions they might win.  But its not, the Giants suck, fuck them.
Detroit 35 – New York 17

San Diego Chargers
          Vs.
Arizona Cardinals
In the oddball game of the week the Chargers go to Arizona to play the Cardinals the week after the Cardinals came to San Diego to play the Chargers in week 4 preseason.  We will finally get to see all the new parts in the Bolts Machine in motion as the Thunder Bolts and Lightning will light up the sky and scoreboard. 
San Diego 29 – Arizona 10

There ya go… week 1 in the books.  Go place your bets now cause you are gonna win for sure! 

   -Cortical

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