Its time to fix the NFL.

I got it. I figured out how to totally fix the NFL from top to bottom and make the league and fans happy.  Hear me out.  It makes sense in the end.

   There will be a team in LA no matter how much we dont want it. So i will address this first.  Instead of moving some team and all that bs and to give the NFL full control of the LA teams the league expand by 2 teams. 1 NFC team and 1 AFC team. Both based in LA out of one stadium. We nownhave 17 teams per conference… The league gets LA and LA doesnt have to suffer through Raiders again.   We have LA covered now on to another problem. 

   Shitty teams, even divisonal winners do not deserve to be in the playoffs.  So what we do is now with our expanded leagues we eliminate divisions.  Each team plays each other team in the same conference once. Thats 16 games no bye weeks.  Ties are eliminated you win or lose for tiebreaker purposes.  Record ties for playoff berths are easily solved by head to head seasonal matchup.  NFC teams do not play AFC teams during the regular season anymore.  The playoffs go by top 6 teams by records with 1 and 2 in each conference getting home field and 1 week off going into the playoffs.  No more 8-8 teams in the playoffs.   Basically the playoffs are the same we just dont let the shitty ones in.

   Now with no bye weeks we cannot have thursday night football.  Which is good cause no one likes TNF.  Also we have to cut all london games… give up NFL. The english hate your sport  and will never accept it on thier pitch. (American football ruins fields…) 

   Problem solved.  We all get what we want.  The “rivalry” games have the same meaning because you will need every win now. Not just 8. 

   -Cortical

  

  

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What to look for during the #Raiders / #Chiefs Thursday Night Matchup!

Nothing.

  -Cortical

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Its time for some #GTAV on #PS4

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   Picked up Grand Theft Auto V for my PS4 the other day.  Im not gonna review it as basically its the same game as before.
   I will say the graphics improvements are fucking amazing, my 14 yr old says it looks the exact same as the ps3/360 version.  Its all the little things that add up and make Los Santos look like an actual world.  The blowing garbage, smoke from gunfire/cars/whatever the fuck else produces smoke, the wildlife both in town and out, and the tweaks to add more detail to everything.  My 14yr old is weird and is of that group of weirdos that say graphics dont matter.  Weirdos…
   I have tried the First Person mode and as a Call of Duty player its very jarring to try and play GTAV in this mode as i always default to playing like CoD Hardcore Domination instead of GTAV.  Call it muscle memory, call it i play to much CoD but i just dont like the controls. I have been told to try the fps scheme for the controller, which i will, but i find myself always going 3rd person for a better field of view.  So a different scheme may fuck that up too.  Also Driving in FPS mode is insane.  Some cars have absolute shit for view and are way to fast, where as the motorcycles are fun as hell cause of how fast everything is moving… also dont try the sub in fps mode. Its impossible to see at all. Heh.
   The one thing that irked me at first was the cost.  59.99 for the same game i paid 59.99 for a year ago.  While it has improvements, i didnt feel it was a full price improvement.  The blow was lessened by the inclusion of 1.125 million gta bucks for digital preorder ( 500k for story and 625k for online) so it saved me like 20 bucks if i wanted to buy some monies later.  Rockstar allowed us to transfer our online selves to the new game so thank god… i didnt want to lose the rank 113 and solid gold adder ; ). But the didnt or i didnt see a way to transfer my story save.  Oh well its been a year since i beat it so fuck it ill do it again. (Plus having 500k and knowing every inch of the map has made story way faster).
    So all in all i am super happy with GTAV for PS4.  You got a ps4 and gtav? Hit me up online (Name: SquirrelPope on PSN) we can romp or do missions or you can join me in the stupid shit we do for our youtube videos. Episode 30 is coming soon.

   -Cortical

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The #NFL… sigh…

You probably hadnt noticed but i am now on my 3rd week of not putting out Totally Uninformed on football picks. There is a reason and yeah… words.

   Between the Chargers skid getting me down a bit the season itself has been brutally unwatchable.  I live near Chicago so i have had to watch the lolbears give up 106 points in 2 games. But every other game is either a ground out penalty fest where the only ball movement comes from 5 yrd and a first down holding penalties or 10 yard false start calls… or the game is one team scoring at will and the other team sucking.  There shouldnt be this many games with 30+ point differences.  I dont rememeber a season off the top of my head with this many blowouts.
   Between overpaid athletes and grossly overpaid owners, game prices getting near 800 bucks for 2 people to go to a game and just the general crappyness of games (i swear weeks 1 through 10 are just preseason as well) i find myself watching actual football instead.  Yes they flop (as they do in the nfl every fucking week) but the games are intense and relentless.  Theres no timeouts, no commercials, no long drawn out stoppage for penalties for some idiot zebra to point and explain how hes blowing the call.

   So for now, the NFL exists, i watch my chargers but i just cant waste my time enjoying all the other games like i used too.

   -Cortical
P.S. #BoltUp

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Garrisons: A World of Warcraft story.

So last night i was chillin in my garrison sending my followers on deadly missions and building all the things.  I was getting ready to fly off to go help Durotan spank some janky iron horde bitches when out of the corner of my eye i see the Sergeant with the all to familiar ! over his head. 
   I walk over to see what thing the silly orc wants and he was a like “champion… holy fucking shit!  I got all this shit and then these bitches started showing up and we need to fuck thier shit up asap!”  I was all like, whhhhaaaaat.  Then suddenly some jerkybaby motherfuckers showed up and started picking on my guards.  It was on.
   There was much fighting, this was but a probe force to see what we were doin, suddenly the whole place erupts in fighting.  Shits exploding everywhere, bad guys are all up ons.  Then during the heat of the battle a pussy ass hylek shows up all “im gonna shoot fire from the sky cause im a bitch who cant fight like a man”  which is ok cause i got a big ass rifle and a demon hippo, together  we put that winged bitch in his place.  During the tussle of all things thw alliance sends a spy… really, yall are still butthurt over the azeroth chopper thing.  Well fuck you dwarf, we tracked his ass down and put a few dozen bullets in his ass. 
   The fighting went on for what seemed like forever and just when we thought we had won, the JB boss shows up and procedes to get served up on a platter to demon hippo.  We heal our wounded and i thank the sergeant for warning me of the fight.  We won the day and it was fucking epic.

   Garrisons…  fucking awesome.

   -Cortical
P.S. SWEARING!

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World of Warcraft is fun again.

 

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Ignore the complaing children, dont fret over queues, and stop stressing over bugs.  Why you ask? Because mother fucking WoW is fun again.

   While yes, its still WoW theres something different this time, maybe its that hint of Burning Crusade underneath it all, or perhaps its the newness of Garrisons, whatever it is, Blizzard has managed to make WoW enjoyable again.  
   So if you are on the fence about WoW i can only say that they have done right this time, anx while as expected theres kinks to iron out i say get off the damn fence and get your butt down to Azeroth again and play. Theres tons o people back, you again can meet, talk, and even quest around with random people again, i even had a conversation with a random person last night!
   Anyways, im stuck at work so im stuck at level 93 for now. So enjoy your weekend and come on back to WoW.  Its what all the cool kids are doing.

   -Cortical

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Handheld consoles are dead.

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   The concept of handheld consoles are dead.  The next couple of years will be sony and nintendo try to milk out every last dime from the Vita and 3DS as the handheld console market dies.  Its been slowly coming as phones and application store with thier cheap games and bullshit have run handheld consoles out of the stadium.
   Really though it has nothing to do with the games avaliable or what the system/phone can do and it has more to do with what it was designed for.  Lets use this example, if i am at work and i decide i want to fluff off and play games all i have to do is pull my phone out of my pocket and play. While i can hear you now “you can just pull out a 3DS or Vita too”  yes, i can but if my boss comes around the corner suddenly and sees me holding my Vita to my face im fucked cause he knows im not working.  Where as if im holding my phone up like every damn human at any job is it  can be instantly played off as writing an email or even texting a loved one with a quick response.  Either way thats the end of it and when the boss moves on you are back to games and no one is the wiser.  Handheld consoles are dead because they chose not to even try to adapt to a changing landscape. 
   Imagine if they added phone capabilities to the Vita… i mean hell, most phones are now bigger than a Vita so thats not the big deal. I would throw this Note 3 out in a second for a Vita with 4g and the ability to make calls/text.  Its all about the stealth gaming now.  People arent going to spend money on a mobile system if they can really only use it at home. Dont get me wrong i lovey Vita, but it would be even more awesome if i could use it for something more.
   Unless there is change i dont see the handheld system market lasting beyond the 3DS/Vita era.  Which makes me sad cause I have spent the better portion of my life with a true handheld system at my side at all times.

   -Cortical
  

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