Totally Uninformed: Week 5 2014 #NFL game #picks.

   Thank you Tampa Bay for making me right as probably the only person on earth to pick you to beat the Squeelers at home.  It was another week with what felt like an excessive amount of bad games played all around.  Which keeps all the predicting out of wack. I mean come on, no one woulda predicted the Chiefs to decimate the Pats so easily.

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   Anyways, lets get on with it while Im still in the mood. 

   Thursday Night:
Minnesota Vikings
            Vs.
Green Bay Packers
  There is no reason to see an end to the streak of terrible games on Thursday Night stop here.  Thankfully we only get a small dose of Trent Dilfer on tv.
Green Bay 44 – Minnesota 10

   Sunday:
Chicago Bears
         Vs.
Carolina Panthers
  Chicago has no defense, luckily for them Carolina had no offense.  The entire game will hinge solely on which Jay Cutler shows up.  Pssst….it will be TD Jay and not INT Jay.
Chicago 21 – Carolina 17

Cleveland Browns
          Vs.
Tennessee Titans
   Wow, this should be just an amazing game. So amazing that I reccomend you avoid it like ebola.
Cleveland 13 – Tennessee 9

St. Louis Rams
          Vs.
Philadelphia Eagles
   See what happens when the Eagles play a whole game? Yep they lose.  Look for them to return to only playing the second half and easily beating the Rams after making them look good in the first half.
Philadelphia 34 – St. Louis 19

Atlanta Falcons
          Vs.
New York Giants
   I am as confused as you as to the sudden lack of mediocrity out of the Giants and Dur Dur Manning.  Also the Falcons arent all that. This should fall right into the Giants lap as an easy win.
New York 27 – Atlanta 21

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
          Vs.
New Orleans Saints
   There really is no reason to think the Saints home dominance stops because of the Bucs. The Saints will win but the newly rejuvenated Bucs will make a game out of it.
New Orleans 26 – Tampa Bay 20

Houston Texans
          Vs.
Dallas Cowboys
   Watch as JJ Watt scores multiple times this week as he decides to play QB and throw TD passes to himself… seriously, he is the best all around player in the league right now.  Dallas sucks and I can only hope they sack Romo so many times that It makes Jerry Jones cry for a 4th time.
Houston 27 – Dallas 14

Buffalo Bills
       Vs.
Detroit Lions
   The Lions nemesis returns to defeat them again.  Yes the illustrious Lion killer Kyle Orton returns to beat them yet again.  The Lions have no answer to this elite QB.
Buffalo 23 – Detroit 17

Baltimore Ravens
          Vs.
Indianapolis Colts
   Andrew Luck is on a tear vs crappy teams. Lets see if it translates whem he takes on a less crappy team.  (Spoiler alert: it does)
Indianapolis 40 – Baltimore 20

Pittsburgh Steelers
          Vs.
Jacksonville Jaguars
   All hail the Blake Bortles era. This is the week where Mr. Bortles has his coming out party and rewrites Jaguars lore bringing them to the playoffs… next year.
Jacksonville 21 – Pittsburgh 19

Arizona Cardinals
          Vs.
Denver Broncos
   Someone ate thier wheaties this season.  How long will this last for the cardinals is the big question mark.  I think it lasts this week as the Broncos are good but not as lights out as last season. 
Arizona 30 – Denver 27

Kansas City Chiefs
          Vs.
San Francisco 49ers
  Im not drinking the chiefs koolaid yet.  They had a good game vs the Pats who obviously have issues but they are the chiefs and love to fuck up.
San Francisco 31 – Kansas City 24

New York Buttfumbles
           Vs.
San Diego Chargers
   Ok, the chargers are a big question mark when it comes to running the ball.  All the wins have come simply from Rivers willing the team to win.  I saw problems with them dealing with a not so good Jags team and i dont see it getting much better until someone on the team proves they can run the ball. Cause if they cant then teams with just ignore it and stop Rivers and the receivers.
San Diego 23 – New York 20 (ot)

Cincinnati Bengals
          Vs.
New England Patriots
   Watch and see as angry Tom Brady forces the entire team not to suck and lifts his team to an amazing victory.
New England 27 – Cincinnati 24

   Monday Night:
Seattle Seahawks
           Vs.
Washington Racistskins
   Yeah… this will be hilarious to watch.
Seattle 50 – Washington 3

Bye Week
         Vs.
Oakland Raiders
Bye week 31 – Oakland 7

Bye week: Dolphins, Raiders

   There… picks are set.  Enjoy week 5 kids.  Also Fuck Thursday Night Football.

-Cortical

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2 Responses to Totally Uninformed: Week 5 2014 #NFL game #picks.

  1. Pingback: NFL Week 4, 2014 | Me Vs. Myself and I

  2. Pingback: NFL Week 5, 2014 | Me Vs. Myself and I

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