Totally Uninformed: 2014 NFL season rankings!

Welcome back kids.  I took last season off due to being a lazy asshole and not wanting to type.  This season fuck it, lets type.  I type up random ill informed thought on subjects I care about.  So here we go.

   Tonight is opening night in the NFL!  Although I will say thanks to the plethora of asshat players in the NFL I am less than psyched for the season really.  They really need to actually punish these players when they do wrong or it will never change, but thats another subject so fuck it.

   Onward to my picks for the season! 

   NFC North:
Green Bay Packers
Detroit Lions
Chicago Bears
Minnesota Vikings
   The divison is Green Bays, the Lions choke so fuck them and the Bears will go 6 and 3 before Cutler gets hurt and then they go 2 and 5 for the rest of the season and miss the playoffs. The Vikings are a team… whatever.

   NFC South:
New Orleans Saints
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Atlanta Falcons
Carolina Panthers
   The Saints are as good as their super bowl year and in this divison that will be more than enough to win it.  Tampa Bay could be a dark horse team though.  While not good enough to win over the Saints they are good enough to Wild Card into the playoffs.  Atlanta and Carolina will battle for last place because they suck.

   NFC East:
Philadelphia Eagles
The other 3 teams.
   Literally the entire NFC East is a cesspool.  The Eagles are simply the best piece of shit in the pile.

   NFC West:
Seattle Seahawks
San Francisco 49ers
St. Louis Rams
Arizona Cardinals
   Seattle is fucking good.  Everyone else will be looking for thier tablescraps.  They will run away with the division and could easily repeat the super bowl.

   AFC North:
Pittsburgh Steelers
Cincinnati Bengals
Baltimore Ravens
Cleveland Browns
   The Bengals are good but always seem to fuck it up when it counts where as the Steelers always seem to have lady luck on thier side.  The Ravens could move up if the other 2 have injuries/suspensions that mess up their starters and Hopefully Johnny Football turns into the next Ryan Leaf.

   AFC South:
Indianapolis Colts
Tennessee Titans
Houston Texans
Jacksonville Jaguars
   The Colts keep Luck upright the Colts win the division.  This is another one of them all around bad divisions. The only shock might be that I see the Jags winning 6 games.

   AFC East:
New England Patriots
Miami Dolphins
Buffalo Bills
New York Buttfumbles
   No one in this divison is a threat to the Pats or a threat to anyone except maybe Minnesota or Jacksonville. Fuck them all

   AFC West:
Denver Broncos
San Diego Chargers
Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Faders
   Ok, as a Chargers fan I hate to put the ponies on top, but they are… for now.  They are a glass cannon though, and if teams get to Peyton like they did to Favre in his last season and fines be damned and put him down the Broncos are done. So as long as the neck stays up they are gonna win the divison.  The Chiefs… so many people are high on them, fuck them.  They will choke and fall as usual.  The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL. 

   There ya have it.  My picks for the season.  Just watch. It will hold true. Guaranteed.

   -Cortical
 

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