Happy Holidays

So the holidays are finally upon us. Nothing but a few months of food, family, and spending. Every year this always brings about depression in many people causing an uptick in suicides. This year however there is one very good reason to not kill yourself. So if you’re sad read on, I might just save your life.

This December if you are feeling sad and blue with thoughts of suicide I want you to stop and think about this one thing to help you get through the sadness. Think of the Mayan calendar and all the idiots who believe the world will end this month. I want you to be alive with me so we can make fun of their stupid asses together. Don’t kill yourself and miss out on this golden chance to mock thousands of idiots. Also on the flipside, if they are right then the Mayans will be giving you the one Christmas present you really wanted this year and you will be dead and will also not be a burden on your families having to clean up your corpse cause they will be dead too.

If this saves even one life then I will be happy. What am I saying. I will be happy either way.

Merry Holidaymaskah.

-Cortical

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