My official #GuildWars2 review!

Fuck it, im jumping on the bandwagon and reviewing Guild Wars 2.

 

Shenaningans – 62.455 out of 67.023

Seriously, Its been what seems like an eternity since I have played a game where you can spend this much time doing what seems like nothing important and still level up.  I mean really, I spent like 3 hours yesterday throwing snowballs at children.  How the hell can that not be fun and who in their adult life didn’t want to hit an asshole kid with a snowball so hard that it knocked them off their feet… and then do it another 139 more times?  No one I can think of that’s for sure!  While it is not a truly sandbox game, it does give you the feeling of it. So many things to do an all of them lead to XP gain.  The crafting I havent spent a ton of time in yet ( I really couldn’t stop throwing snowballs at kids, I may have to go back today and pepper them fuckers a few more times) But the limited time I have has been pretty good.  I love how if you click the create all button on something with like 107 things it starts off slow then gets faster the more you do.  And how in a previous post ( https://corticalscrub.wordpress.com/2012/08/26/how-dare-you-arenanet-gw2/ ) I discovered you could share the goddamn resource nodes makes the entire scope of crafting shenanigans so much better than i expected.

Peoples – 43.7 out of 109.9

Ok, the character designs for me left A LOT to be desired.  I will say it now and I will say it loud.  I FUCKING HATE THE CHARR.  They are the most poorly designed race i have ever had the displeasure of looking at in a game EVER.  Then there’s the Sylvari, while not as bad as the Charr, they definately have zero appeal for me.  Plus from what I hear thier starter area is terrible too.  The Asura have potential just for being small and harder to see in WvW (At least this time they will be on my team unlike the Lurikeen and Kobolds from DAoC… fuck you small little fuckers! The only satisfaction i got was the male Lurikeens ran like they had a stick up their ass)  Plus the girl Asuras are so turbo cutesy you cant help but like them.  The Norn are awesome looking and so imposing.  My Necromancer looks like an insane hobo with axes and a skull painted on his face, its awesome.  But on the flipside they are just begging to be target magnets on keep walls and anywhere else in WvW…  Good luck hiding the fucking monster anywhere since your bigger than the fucking tree you’re standing behind.  Humans are humans, they have had the same design in MMOs since they created MMOs (and for good reason cause they are fucking humans, but it would be cool if an MMO made their game with no human option someday)  My main is a human, for me they are the only choice for me.  Small enough to not be seen at 27 miles away but big enough not to get lost underfoot and have shitty camera views during any huge battles

 Shinies – 1.9 out of 2

The game is fucking pretty.  If the game isn’t pretty to you then go buy a new PC and get back to me…………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See I told you its pretty.

 

Overall – Pretty  Good

Torches will be handed out if you need them(im not made of money, bring your own pitchforks…)

While the game will not appeal to everyone, for me its filling a void in my gaming desires quite well.  If you got money to burn and want to try something that’s somewhat fresh and new to the MMO market give it a whirl.  If your stuck in Telara, Azeroth, or one of them other games who have worlds with names i cant remember and you are having fun then by all means please stay there and keep having fun!  Cause that’s what gaming is about.  Not what game is better than what game.  Enjoy your game time cause before you know it, it might be gone.

 

-Cortical

 

 

 

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